Monday, December 1, 2008

YOU'RE AWFUL, I LOVE YOU!

My dogs love Ludo. So do my husband and I. They will be back here on the 28th, and dammit, this time we are going.
Can you believe that I had the chance to meet them last summer and passed it up, because I "was fat." Yeah.
In fact, I have missed out on, oh, most of my life due to "being fat."
This from someone who has not once been technically overweight.

Anyway. My first class was uneventful. It snowed a whole 1/4 inch, so of course like good suburban St. Louisans, people freaked out and left the H3s at home. Seriously. This is NOT snow. I like the cold weather. It feels better, and it is easier to dress with class. Why people take "hot, humid weather" as an excuse to dress like slobs, I have no idea. I want long, elegant coats. All year long. Not cut off jeans, shirts cut down to the waist (men), and stupid sun visors. Not looking like a tourist in your own town.
According to Self magazine (not that I take Self very seriously, but still) we are the third unhealthiest city in the United States. Add this to the "fourth most dangerous" city in the United States. HOORAY!! Miss Cynical says: Move here if you have a ridiculous baseball obsession, but be prepared to become an overweight smoker with cancer and get robbed, raped, and shot.

Sorry. I just hate that so many people read stuff like that and then envision this horrible Midwestern city full of slobs with cigars and Cardinals t-shirts and Big Gulp cups. (Not saying a lot of the city residents aren't like that. Just not all.) I mean, I have spoken with people who have never been here, and they actually said "OMG, isn't that where people get shot??!?"
Um. People get shot anywhere that irresponsible people have guns. Okay?
Now that that is cleared up, I resent the thought that all of us here are some fashion-challenged hicks with no clue how to dress. (Again, a lot of people here are, but so many are NOT.)
The other day I was at the gym, and surprise surprise, my ipod lost charge (I am terrible at remembering to charge it.) I grabbed a gossip rag and in the back was this quote from Alexander McQueen:
"I always liked the idea of people in the Midwest wearing my clothes."
The way the magazine framed it made him sound very condescending and sarcastic. I was adamant that I would not spend a dime on his Target line.
However, I did a search and found this article and it seems that the magazine just screwed it up (or more likely, purposely took out the one part that could be misconstrued.) Maybe I will give his line at Target a chance. Maybe.
So, back to my point: Just because I live in the most dangerous, least healthy city in the US does not mean that I am unhealthy and unsafe. It all makes me almost want to stick up for this place. Sure, I hate it here, but trust me, it could be worse.
*Oh, and I just glanced at Self again. We got number one for "unhealthiest eaters." No comment. What else would you expect from a city that was not satisfied with white-flour pasta stuffed with beef and god-knows-what-else? No, they had to "invent a new dish" by deep frying it. Jesus. *

I got from Ludo (who is, by the way, a local band) to Pilates class, to snow, to local "fashion" or lack thereof, to Self magazine's stupid ratings, to toasted ravioli (which is a stupid name since it is deep fried.) I really wish I had something awesome to put here at the end, like a photo of me eating "toasted ravioli" with Ludo, but I don't eat that crap and I haven't (yet?) met Ludo, so I can't. I can, however, post an old photo of my real live rockstar friend Pete, hours before he ate some toasted ravioli while I sipped a smuggled-in bottle of Voss water. Enjoy:


Ugh, god, I blame the PR guy's camera. UGH!

1 comment:

♥ Chloe said...

I like that picture of you, Shannon. It's cute!

I have a love-hate with my midwestern upbringing. One one hand I think, "UGH UGH UGH" whenever I go back and visit (and let me tell you it is SHOCKING when I go back after being in Colorado- in Colorado everybody is pin-thin, in South Dakota...um not so much) but on the other hand, aw shucks. It's the midwest. I still say "Uff da" way too much for my own good.