Thursday, December 11, 2008


I have too many things to say, so this will be a big huge mess of stuff.

One-I have too many blogs, TOO MANY. I am trying to keep up with three. For each, ahem, facet of my life, I guess? (Please don't point out what this says about my life. I know.)
Here: my real life, stupid stories, shopping, hair, makeup, etc. You know. That stuff. And next to nobody reads it. Hmm. from a couple years ago, recently revived, I keep trying to make it good but so far not much luck, has zero readers as far as I know (besides random readers from Europe who leave really nice comments as far as I can translate them, so, um , are they using an online translator to read my page? *Thinks back to yesterday's post about the messed-up translation photo blog and shudders.*) Trying to eventually use it to get writing opportunities/work on novel, don't want to actually put novel excerpts up (isn't that kind of a bad idea, I mean, nobody would want to steal my shitty writing, but still) but I am still lost. Keep it, ditch it, what is the point with no readers? New, I started this one because if I don't keep myself accountable for living the way I want to, I start to glamourize things like munching on Special K and taking diet pills and eating pressed, processed bars of crap instead of food. A way to keep up my raw food ways without joining the fanatics. However, again, no readers (I know it takes time, but still) and have been having a bad week (what with my husband back to eating a package of .19 noodles for dinner, making a smoothie that likely costs $8.00 from start to finish, topped with a shot of wheatgrass, even though husband is eating those noodles so we can still afford it, makes my body feel good but my spirit feel like trash. Yes, sweetie, eat that paste. We know you liked it in kindergarten. Add half a stick of butter, and WOW!!! TASTE BUD EXPLOSION!!!! Not really. But anyway...) and to top that off, don't want to just jump on the money-making "green" explosion (um, I tried and succeeded for a while with raw food before anyone really heard of all those celebrities doing it, and people just thought I was nuts. Now it's all, Demi Moore Alicia Silverstone that, and OMG that was on TV this, and I really don't want to try to talk people out of their misconceptions (that they learned from the "expert" on TV.) So anyway, unsure about the blog. About all of them. I need to make a point and stick to it, I guess. Or not.

Two, the job market confuses me. I went to college in 1997. For 3 years. And then I stopped for a while, picking up (very expensive) semesters here and there. And in 2006 I went back, borrowed over $40,000 and finally got my damn Bachelor's. And now, my husband, who never even finished his Associate's degree, had a job interview every damn day this week, while I (the one who spent a ton of money to finish school) have had no luck even finding anything to apply for. (Except the one job, which still has not called, and I am sad and confounded and...blah). Yes, I know, I should have just found one job and stayed there for the past 1,033,038,999 years like everyone else, but damn, I would have been so unhappy that I would have lost it. I think I'm like my MIL in that seems that if she is unhappy somewhere, she leaves. Yeah, finally someone who understands me. The point is, I now owe $500 a month for a student loan, and my husband still hasn't finished community college and has has 3 great interviews for places this let's hope one of these fancy hotels hires him. And has connections in Colorado. Because I would happily go back to being the manager at 7-11 to live up there. Seriously, what you do means nothing as long as you are with the right people. That job proved that.

Three, I want to move again. (Yes, out of state, but right now, out of apartment.) I now have two rooms in which the ceiling has horrible water damage, we had a hole in our bedroom ceiling for a week, nobody bothered to actually find out WHY water leaked and made the hole(?? idiots), and now I have been unable to use my bedroom for 2 days while they leave their tools and cover everything with plastic and twiddle their thumbs about how to fix it. Oh, and I also now have a ton of bedding and thousands of dollars worth of clothes that smell like cigarettes, because I know they are smoking in there. Or the new people in the building are smoking. This is a non-smoking building. I used to smoke. I think now I dislike it more than people who never did smoke. So yeah. That and they still have no idea we have 2 little dogs (long story) so I'd like to be able to not worry about that.

Enough, I will shut up now. It's time for they gym. Maybe I can twiddle my thumbs a bit longer for this job. I can't wait forever, though. Dammit.


Anonymous said...

Hey.. I read your blogs.. your an awsome writer... Have you looked for technical writer positions in the area?
Don't sell yourself short.. You have a ton of talents. Even if you have to write contractually, or are just submitting stuff to magazines or local newspapers.. this will help you to get out there... And Im serious when i tell you that "You are Good."
--what about law firms in clayton--

What about sending your writing into Yoga Journal...Living Organic....Real Simple...Fashion Mags... etc..

U Can do it.. don't get caught up in the things holding you back.. easier said than done.. but once you are 'doing' "rather than thinking of why u shouldn't... you will notice results.
--I have a lot of similarities in my professional life.. but DO know that it is because i have been the limiting factor in my own progression. We can only change through action.. and for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.. IDigress!

Shasta said...

I read your blogs! II check them daily! Now I know about the new one, I'll check that too!