Monday, February 16, 2009

ME, INDECISIVE?

Yeah, I still haven't made this bad boy "private." I'm not sure that I am going to, either, but for now I'll just promise to keep you all updated.

I did disappear for a while, and I'm not sure if I will be posting every single day. I'm sure I won't be posting about the same kind of stuff anymore, and if reading about yoga and refinishing furniture found in the alley won't thrill you, I apologize, but my life is changing and so is my blog.

And damn it, I'm HAPPY about it. Sometime last August, I "took a break" from yoga, and (not blaming this on not doing yoga, but it is interesting to think about) somehow became this horrible materialistic monster. Okay, maybe it wasn't SO bad, but really, I remember getting ready to leave for our destination wedding in December 2007 and going to H+M to buy myself a "trip wardrobe." I was SO DAMN HAPPY over my $200 bag of clothes. And somehow, mere months later, I became convinced that a bra must cost $200 or it was a cheap piece of shit. (Okay, again I exaggerate, but still. My point has been made.) I was happier before. A LOT happier. And I'm working my way back to being happy like that again.

Let's see. Yes, we has the drama right now. And as much as it does suck, at least I am not stuck in a "Groundhog Day" existence. When I die, I might have a list of drama longer than Route 66, but nobody can ever say my life has EVER been boring!! And that's fine. I'm also finally getting my shit together. Once upon a time I was happy because I was totally self-sufficient. What happened to that? I want that back! I do!
Hmm. Yoga. I went back. And it was like I took a few days off, not six whole months. It's amazing. And I wonder why I ever stopped going (being sick, yes, but there was something else...?)
And stuff. I am starting to clean out the "stuff" in this place. Amazing what accumulates in a year. The good news? I'm not moving. NOPE. I have looked and looked and looked and there is no way we will save money by moving. Either the utilities will cost more, the car insurance will cost more, the gas will cost more....or the place is the size of our living room. So we stay. And that's that. I'm happy about that.

And as for all the people who think they know the whole story, and hold it against me...my husband is my best friend. I "married late" according to many people (hah, I was 28) and prior to dating my husband, I dated a LOT. A LOT A LOT. And I know what is out there. And I have seen friends' marriages, my parent's marriage, strangers' marriages...and while my husband may have been being a complete and utter stupid idiot the past few years, he loves me, he is my best friend, and I love him. And I think a lot of people never even find that. So say what you will, but I believe in marriage, and not in divorcing at the first sign of imperfection.

And that's it. Sorry if this is boring, and that I haven't been writing as much. I'll be around.
Until then, I will share with you an amusing story.
The highway right by our apartment is completely closed--they are tearing it up and re-doing the entire thing. We live right by the bridge, and I walk over it to get to yoga every day. Today there was a guy standing there at the bridge, yelling down at the construction workers: "YOU HAVE THE BEST JOB EVER!! YOU GET TO FUCKING DESTROY SHIT!!! YEAH!!!"

Gotta love the enthusiasm.

p.s. ANONYMOUS...(i know who you are)...that is creepy. I was writing this post when your comment e-mail came through...it's like we're telepathic...I'm still here, just busy at work, and if this goes private, you'll be invited, of course!!!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah....Telepathy Rules!

Shasta said...

Great post Shannon, I missed you. There was a huge time in my life before I went back to work (I had been home for 10 years, when I was 20-30, I'm now 31) when I think that I just tried to fill an emotional void, an empty place in my heart with "stuff". Stuff that had never been important before. I would buy 8 pairs of Christian Louboutin's a month a didn't even give a crap if we could afford it or not. You and I both know that is about $5,000 a month. I was out of control in my lonliness. Going back to work has given me such joy (I know, crazy shizzle, right?) and appreciation for how hard my husband works. That kind of spending was just ridiculous, especially when I had no where to wear any of that fantastic crap. I no longer live for shopping, online or irl. I feel more like me. You sound like you are getting to the heart of you, that brings me joy. You are an amazing writer, and you will always have a story to tell.

Shasta said...

oh, is "anonymous" the same meanie that says mean things to me? Sounds like you appreciate him/her though! ha!

shannon said...

Shasta-Haha, no...my "anonymous" is actually a friend of mine irl...I was being silly because I really did get an email that crossed with my publishing of the post. Weird.
And thanks for other comment, it means a lot!!

My mean "anonymous" comments get rejected from the get-go.

Shasta said...

Oh good, I think my "anonymous" meanie is one of my girlfriend's husbands and it's freaking me out! I need to implement the whole "blogger approved comment" thing!

♥ Chloe said...

I have an Anonymous meanie, too. Which is why I did away with Anonymous posting. My Anonymous meanie wasn't really mean, just blunt- and it bothers me that they won't post under a real name. I don't care if you don't like me! I don't care if you're going to say something I might not want to hear! Just post it under your name, plz. I deserve that much.

I'm glad to see you back, Shannon. We're all going through some tough times right now, so I won't find your posts boring! Your posts could never be boring. You could post about ice cubes melting and it wouldn't be boring. I hope you know that. ♥