I used to LOVE drama. I walked around in high school and college like I was in a big-budget movie. (Um, college in 1997, not my recent return to school. Well, maybe I did it then, too. Whatever.)
Everything was a BIG DEAL.
And it still is a big deal, except now, I hate drama. At least, I hate the kind that you would find in junior high, high school, the sorority house, etc, etc.
I remember thinking, when I was 12 years old, "wow I can't wait 'til high school when everyone grows up and won't act like this!"
And I remember thinking, when I was 17 years old, "one more month of this shit and I will be going away, moving away, and in college I am sure people have more important things to do than talk shit about my style or my boyfriend or whether or not they think he is cute and whether I do or don't eat."
And I remember, in college, thinking "okay, fuck these idiots...someday soon I will have a real job in the real world and then I won't have to worry about people like this."
Well. John Mayer had it right when he told us that there was no such thing as the "real world." It really is all just a lie you have to rise above. And man, oh man, it is still infuriating.
See, I have to question whether I can call my job a "real job," but for the purpose of this post, I will consider it so. (It helps me earn money while I work on bigger, better, more important things. My job is not the end-all, be-all, just a little help along the way, if you will.)
Now, I work with someone who makes me crazy for several reasons. One of them I really can't expose, as much as I would like to.
The other one, well, I really don't care even if she did ever find this and read it, which I doubt she will.
First of all: she is nearly 20 years older than me, and I'm not a kid. You would think that someone with years of experience would know how to act like an adult in the workplace. The thing is, I know she hates me, and I don't care. Yet, she trash-talks every other employee in the place to me, every single day. Does she think I don't know that she does the same thing to everyone else? Worse, is everyone else so stupid that they don't realize the game she is playing? I am starting to fear the worst, because why hasn't anyone else said anything? She can talk all the trash she wants to and I will continue to change the subject. She will not get any (true)thing to use against me.
Until I quit, and then the game changes immensely.
Anyway. I had to post this, because I loved my job for a short time, and now I hate it for one reason: dealing with this drama. It is just one gossip, condescending remark, insult after another here, and I am trying to find a way to move on gracefully. I can't even really write about it, because the internet is public and I am sure someone would find this and make ME look like the bad person.
Argh. I have to remind myself: It Could Be Worse
Date #6 tonight. Don’t have high hopes, talking to him is a bit like pulling teeth. Feels like I’m doing all the work. I ask him questions, he responds....