OH, IT SUCKS

I have too many things to say, so this will be a big huge mess of stuff.

One-I have too many blogs, TOO MANY. I am trying to keep up with three. For each, ahem, facet of my life, I guess? (Please don't point out what this says about my life. I know.)
Here: my real life, stupid stories, shopping, hair, makeup, etc. You know. That stuff. And next to nobody reads it. Hmm.
piecesofnote.blogspot.com: from a couple years ago, recently revived, I keep trying to make it good but so far not much luck, has zero readers as far as I know (besides random readers from Europe who leave really nice comments as far as I can translate them, so, um , are they using an online translator to read my page? *Thinks back to yesterday's post about the messed-up translation photo blog and shudders.*) Trying to eventually use it to get writing opportunities/work on novel, don't want to actually put novel excerpts up (isn't that kind of a bad idea, I mean, nobody would want to steal my shitty writing, but still) but I am still lost. Keep it, ditch it, what is the point with no readers?
fashionablyorganic.blogspot.com: New, I started this one because if I don't keep myself accountable for living the way I want to, I start to glamourize things like munching on Special K and taking diet pills and eating pressed, processed bars of crap instead of food. A way to keep up my raw food ways without joining the fanatics. However, again, no readers (I know it takes time, but still) and have been having a bad week (what with my husband back to eating a package of .19 noodles for dinner, making a smoothie that likely costs $8.00 from start to finish, topped with a shot of wheatgrass, even though husband is eating those noodles so we can still afford it, makes my body feel good but my spirit feel like trash. Yes, sweetie, eat that paste. We know you liked it in kindergarten. Add half a stick of butter, and WOW!!! TASTE BUD EXPLOSION!!!! Not really. But anyway...) and to top that off, don't want to just jump on the money-making "green" explosion (um, I tried and succeeded for a while with raw food before anyone really heard of all those celebrities doing it, and people just thought I was nuts. Now it's all, Demi Moore Alicia Silverstone that, and OMG that was on TV this, and I really don't want to try to talk people out of their misconceptions (that they learned from the "expert" on TV.) So anyway, unsure about the blog. About all of them. I need to make a point and stick to it, I guess. Or not.

Two, the job market confuses me. I went to college in 1997. For 3 years. And then I stopped for a while, picking up (very expensive) semesters here and there. And in 2006 I went back, borrowed over $40,000 and finally got my damn Bachelor's. And now, my husband, who never even finished his Associate's degree, had a job interview every damn day this week, while I (the one who spent a ton of money to finish school) have had no luck even finding anything to apply for. (Except the one job, which still has not called, and I am sad and confounded and...blah). Yes, I know, I should have just found one job and stayed there for the past 1,033,038,999 years like everyone else, but damn, I would have been so unhappy that I would have lost it. I think I'm like my MIL in that way...it seems that if she is unhappy somewhere, she leaves. Yeah, finally someone who understands me. The point is, I now owe $500 a month for a student loan, and my husband still hasn't finished community college and has has 3 great interviews for places this week...so let's hope one of these fancy hotels hires him. And has connections in Colorado. Because I would happily go back to being the manager at 7-11 to live up there. Seriously, what you do means nothing as long as you are with the right people. That job proved that.

Three, I want to move again. (Yes, out of state, but right now, out of apartment.) I now have two rooms in which the ceiling has horrible water damage, we had a hole in our bedroom ceiling for a week, nobody bothered to actually find out WHY water leaked and made the hole(?? idiots), and now I have been unable to use my bedroom for 2 days while they leave their tools and cover everything with plastic and twiddle their thumbs about how to fix it. Oh, and I also now have a ton of bedding and thousands of dollars worth of clothes that smell like cigarettes, because I know they are smoking in there. Or the new people in the building are smoking. This is a non-smoking building. I used to smoke. I think now I dislike it more than people who never did smoke. So yeah. That and they still have no idea we have 2 little dogs (long story) so I'd like to be able to not worry about that.

Enough, I will shut up now. It's time for they gym. Maybe I can twiddle my thumbs a bit longer for this job. I can't wait forever, though. Dammit.

BORED

i don't know why this made me laugh so much, but it did:




more


this is the best blog ever! go see more now!

wait! this one is even better:


more the engrish!

okay, i'm done now

BLECH

I spend a lot of money on Amazon.com, so it comes as no surprise to me that they send me several emails a day, letting me know about their next sale, code, or deal.
The one in my inbox this morning started with "$25 off crocs!..."
Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? You mean that there are crocs that people would pay more than $25 for? And that they cost enough so that even with $25 off, the company would make money? I had to see this for myself.
So I clicked on the graphic and found this. Wow. I am sure that I spend what people consider "too much" on things that people would find "too ugly." And this is just my opinion, but the classic croc is just about the most disgusting thing on earth, and I don't care how comfortable it is. (My ugly vs. comfort tolerance stops with MBT shoes, and only for walking or jogging.) But taking the croc and making it furry? Oh. Oh no no no. That is worse than my college (remember it was 1997 guys!) era Doc Marten's sandals with wooly socks phase. Maybe even worse than the current trend of girls-who-should-not-be-wearing-gym-shorts-out-of-
the-gym-wearing-them-with-Uggs-in-the-mall.
I know I might be crucified for this one. A lot of people LOVE these things. I know they made a new line of shoes that is nothing like these monsters. But I can't help but wonder...are these so popular because people like them, or because they are just a huge trend?

PROP 8-THE MUSICAL

If you happen to be really religious, you might find this offensive...but it is so true and so funny.



click here

LIVING ON THE CHEAP

I'm going to admit that I freaked out when I realized that $80 Brazilians every 3 weeks were a thing of the past, at least for the time being.
I am hair-phobic when it comes to certain, um, areas. I mean, I don't want to look like a 12-year-old, but I have been in enough locker rooms to know that a full Afro between the legs is not attractive.
Shaving is irritating and lasts about an hour, and Nair actually burns my skin off. So I saw my waxing lady pretty often. And it is not cheap.
How sad I was when I thought, "Time to call Sarah!!!! Oops, can't. Darn it."
So I went to Target (I know, I know) and bought this little guy. For $19.99 (1/4 of the cost of a Brazilian!) I wasn't expecting much...maybe a nice tool to touch up knees (the place I always shred with a razor) or the stray toe hair (shut up, you have them too!) or whatever. But I came home, put 2 batteries in, tried it out, and...I'm amazed. Really. It was a bit painful, but come on, so is waxing. I am not super-hairy, so I didn't have to attempt to use it in too intimate an area, but it really did get rid of the hair. (I love how people in the "customer reviews" are like "this was my first electric razor, is it supposed to hurt so much?" Um, no, it's an epilator, which is a totally different thing. Hee!!)
I won't lie-it was a bit more painful than a Brazilian, because it was slower and I had to do it myself. However...even if I run the batteries out each time I use it, the thing cost 25% of ONE Brazilian wax and the hair is gone. Gone enough that I would wear a bikini tomorrow, or next week. Best thing is, I can keep totally hair-free, because I can do touch-ups any time I want.

I'm so easily amused sometimes.

I WON'T DO IT

This makes me want to chop off all my hair again:

But I won't. She is too damned beautiful. Even though Nylon swears they didn't airbrush her, I think they did, but dammit, she is still gorgeous. And that hair!!

Not again. I just don't have the face for short hair. Or I do, but when I cut it, I immediately want long hair again. Oh, ratsicles.

YOU'RE AWFUL, I LOVE YOU!

My dogs love Ludo. So do my husband and I. They will be back here on the 28th, and dammit, this time we are going.
Can you believe that I had the chance to meet them last summer and passed it up, because I "was fat." Yeah.
In fact, I have missed out on, oh, most of my life due to "being fat."
This from someone who has not once been technically overweight.

Anyway. My first class was uneventful. It snowed a whole 1/4 inch, so of course like good suburban St. Louisans, people freaked out and left the H3s at home. Seriously. This is NOT snow. I like the cold weather. It feels better, and it is easier to dress with class. Why people take "hot, humid weather" as an excuse to dress like slobs, I have no idea. I want long, elegant coats. All year long. Not cut off jeans, shirts cut down to the waist (men), and stupid sun visors. Not looking like a tourist in your own town.
According to Self magazine (not that I take Self very seriously, but still) we are the third unhealthiest city in the United States. Add this to the "fourth most dangerous" city in the United States. HOORAY!! Miss Cynical says: Move here if you have a ridiculous baseball obsession, but be prepared to become an overweight smoker with cancer and get robbed, raped, and shot.

Sorry. I just hate that so many people read stuff like that and then envision this horrible Midwestern city full of slobs with cigars and Cardinals t-shirts and Big Gulp cups. (Not saying a lot of the city residents aren't like that. Just not all.) I mean, I have spoken with people who have never been here, and they actually said "OMG, isn't that where people get shot??!?"
Um. People get shot anywhere that irresponsible people have guns. Okay?
Now that that is cleared up, I resent the thought that all of us here are some fashion-challenged hicks with no clue how to dress. (Again, a lot of people here are, but so many are NOT.)
The other day I was at the gym, and surprise surprise, my ipod lost charge (I am terrible at remembering to charge it.) I grabbed a gossip rag and in the back was this quote from Alexander McQueen:
"I always liked the idea of people in the Midwest wearing my clothes."
The way the magazine framed it made him sound very condescending and sarcastic. I was adamant that I would not spend a dime on his Target line.
However, I did a search and found this article and it seems that the magazine just screwed it up (or more likely, purposely took out the one part that could be misconstrued.) Maybe I will give his line at Target a chance. Maybe.
So, back to my point: Just because I live in the most dangerous, least healthy city in the US does not mean that I am unhealthy and unsafe. It all makes me almost want to stick up for this place. Sure, I hate it here, but trust me, it could be worse.
*Oh, and I just glanced at Self again. We got number one for "unhealthiest eaters." No comment. What else would you expect from a city that was not satisfied with white-flour pasta stuffed with beef and god-knows-what-else? No, they had to "invent a new dish" by deep frying it. Jesus. *

I got from Ludo (who is, by the way, a local band) to Pilates class, to snow, to local "fashion" or lack thereof, to Self magazine's stupid ratings, to toasted ravioli (which is a stupid name since it is deep fried.) I really wish I had something awesome to put here at the end, like a photo of me eating "toasted ravioli" with Ludo, but I don't eat that crap and I haven't (yet?) met Ludo, so I can't. I can, however, post an old photo of my real live rockstar friend Pete, hours before he ate some toasted ravioli while I sipped a smuggled-in bottle of Voss water. Enjoy:

Ugh, god, I blame the PR guy's camera. UGH!